Booked

My husband and I finally booked flights to London. We are very excited and can't wait to see our daughter, her husband and our granddaughter in person, to be able to wrap our arms around them. By the time we go in April it will have been almost a year since we last saw them physically. Thanks to the wonderful technology of the internet and webcams we have been able to interact with them electronically. I recommend it to anyone who has family and friends living too far away to visit regularly. We have been able to watch our granddaughter grow and change, her personality emerging like a flower in bloom. She recognizes us because of the webcam and calls us Nana and Boppy. She will celebrate her second birthday while we are there. I cannot wait to go!

Blowin' In The Wind

Last night storms rolled across the region bringing with them high winds and much storm damage. Lost lives, downed trees, power outages, damaged homes and businesses, hail-pelted vehicles. As expected, the local news stations interrupted the evening programming to give constant updates of these fast-moving storms, urging people to take shelter. What I found truly amazing was the fact that some newscasters had to actually tell the viewing public not to call the stations to inquire about when their regular shows would be aired. Really, are people that stupid that they think it is more important to know who lost the most flab on The Big Loser than to know when they should be getting their sorry asses into a safe spot? I say we put these idiots all together in a trailer park in Kansas and keep the regular programming on when a horrific storm is about to descend on them. It can be a new reality show, Survival of the Witless. The winner gets to move on to the next season where the contestants are cloistered in shoddy homes along a river bank in the spring, without life jackets or rescue workers. Season three: a stint on the beach during hurricane season with no warning sirens. Wouldn't it be great viewing and a great public service to help clean up the gene pool?

Tantrum

I just sit down to relax, book in hand, with a soda and a butterscotch krispie bar when I hear the most obnoxious noise calling out to me. It grates on my nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard and I want to ignore it but it is insistent and seems to grow louder and louder by the minute. I try hard to concentrate on my book, but with every screech I grow tense and I am beginning to get angry. Why can't it just shut up and leave me alone? Can't I sit here for a while, uninterrupted, and take a break from painting? Like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum, it screams out from down the hall then waits for my response. When I don't give in it screams again and again. By now my mood is surly and I arise in a huff. I march down the hall and fling open the door, clothes hanger in hand, fuming. The room goes silent instantly. I reach in and grab a sleeve and pull roughly. "There, are you satisfied?" I slam the door closed and the howling starts anew. I open the door again and grab a leg, jerking rather violently. It quiets for a second or two but incredibly the wailing begins again. How stupid can it be? Does it not know how angry I am? Over and over I reach in, grabbing a neck or a waist or an arm, until it is finally drained and all goes quiet. Just for good measure, I reach up and punch it. It remains still and defeated. I return to my chair, pick up my book and resume reading, trying to calm myself down. I hate that damn dryer and its buzzer with a vengence!

Lunatic

I think there is something terribly wrong with me and I may need psychological counseling.

For the past nineteen months I have worked in a job that I absolutely deplore. The reasons I despise it are varied but the three most compelling are the total lack of any kind of work ethic in most of the staff, the lack of management support to initiate change, and boredom. I could be like so many other working people and just go with the flow but I cannot. I am bored out of my mind at work. The only challenge is trying to motivate the staff. The rest of the work I could do in my sleep. So I have begun to search out new possibilities, something a bit more challenging.

I actually interviewed yesterday for a management position that I should probably run from, run fast without looking back. The place is a mess, the staff has free reign, there is no sense of order, and the office is most likely teetering on the edge of survival. There is a fairly new computer system in the office and statements haven't gone out in months. Why, oh why, would I even consider this as a replacement for the cake job I have now? Why would I want to take a position that I know would most likely take six months to a year of long, long days to turn around? From what I could gather during the interview there are no written office policies and procedures, no job descriptions, no discipline, no oversight. I would be absolutely crazy to even think about it, right? Then why am I mulling it over in my mind, thinking about what I would do first to begin the process of change? Why am I considering digging out manuals from a previous management position I held to begin thinking about writing new ones? Why am I excited about the prospect of learning yet another computer system and straightening out the accounting process in that office? I would have total control to implement the changes necessary. Is that what drives me? Am I really a control freak? Or do I just thrive on a good challenge? I know in my mind I should keep on looking for something that is not quite this risky or time consuming, something challenging but not bordering on lunacy. Why would I do this to myself? I can only determine that I am crazy. Somebody stop me!

Ordinary Wonders

While driving to work this morning, heading west toward the interstate, I was struck by the view before me. Heavy gray clouds were settled just above the dark, barren hills in the distance. The sun illuminated the buildings nestled in those hills, creating an image of black and white tones. The moon, full and just beginning to lose its glow to daylight, was positioned perfectly above the tallest building like the dot of an i. If I had had my camera with me I would have pulled over to take a picture. Even though I might have been late for work by doing so, I pulled over anyway to linger for just a moment, to let the image be etched into my memory. I wondered if any of the other commuters had noticed this picture perfect scene. All too often, we hurry through our day without noticing the beauty all around us, the simple beauty of ordinary things. We get so caught up in the stress and chaos that we forget how to really see our world. So I began to wonder what other people would find beautiful if they gave it some thought and actually took a good look around them. Would they notice the sun peeking out between the clouds like a giant sleepy eye? Would they notice the frothy, icy wake of the tug slowly pushing its load of coal up the river? Or notice the very moment that the nearby city pops into view as the traffic flows along? Would they see the glint of sun bouncing off the airplane as it tips its wing and arcs around for landing? Would they notice the twinkling of the lights on the radio towers atop those hills? Would they see the birds lined up like clothespins on the power line? Or perhaps the faint smile of the tousle-haired child staring out the window of the car in the next lane? What beautiful things do you see in your everyday, ordinary surroundings?

Ode to Snow

It is snowing this morning, enough snow to cover the streets with a blanket of silence. Everything is still and beautiful, waiting like a present for wondering eyes, waking the inner child of normally busy people. It makes one pause, if only briefly, to take in the landscape all around us, a landscape softened and buffered with its glimmering coat of white. Snowflakes dance and flutter like magic dust covering rooftops and cars, porches and swings, topping fenceposts and streetsigns like fuzzy wool caps. Trees are cloaked in a glorious cape of shimmer, branches stretched out in majesty. For a moment, one remembers the true beauty and intricacies of nature. Children will wake to the thrill of it all, anxious to revel in the veritable playground that awaits them, hoping fervently that school will be closed. Adults will go about their day with added excitement, a fleeting commonality among them. The snow will disappear tomorrow, melted away and forgotten, but today it is cause for pure joy.

Soulmate

Do you ever watch someone while they're sleeping and feel the wonder of the love they have brought into your life? I sometimes feel that way when I am lying next to my husband. Here is a list of things I have pondered in the darkness over the years we have been together:

1. With my moodiness I have wondered how in the world he hasn't killed me by now.
2. I also, at times, wonder how he is still alive.
3. I wonder how I was lucky enough to marry such a good-hearted, patient man.
4. How does one snore so incredibly loudly without waking himself up?
5. Do my children know how lucky they are to have such a great father?
6. Is he breathing?
7. Why do my troubles melt away when I am lying in the crook of his arm?
8. What is that smell?
9. How was it ever possible for both of us and our three young children to ever fit on a double bed?
10. Does he truly know how much I love him?
11. How is it that we can read each other's thoughts?
12. Why does he love to play those computer games so much?
13. How can I ever make it up to him for ranting and raving like a spoiled child?
14. How does a simple, silent gesture such as reaching for my hand in the darkness soothe my spirit after
a bad dream?
15. What have we done right over the years to make our marriage last this long?
16. Whoever wrote that line in Love Story, "Love is never having to say you're sorry" is full of crap.
17. Why is it possible to feel that everything will always be alright when he wraps his arms around me?
18. How is it that one can get lost in another's eyes?
19. Exactly what is it that makes us soulmates?
20. How is it he can he make me laugh when I am in one of my dark moods?
20. Will he remember that today is our anniversary?

I love you, dear husband. You are the most wonderful everything. Without you I would be lost. Here's to the rest of our lives together, be it good or bad, funny or sad, easy or difficult, rich or poor, healthy or sick. I will stay by your side always.