Serving Time

It is amazing to me the rights that we take for granted in this country. Women have the right to vote, to dress how they please, to work in whatever field they choose, to attend college, to choose who they date and/or marry, to attend the church of their choice or not attend a church at all, to participate in sports, to have or not have children, to go about their daily lives with little interference from the government. There are still inequities in the workplace, women still are not equal in many churches, crimes against women are still a societal problem, but overall women in America have more freedom than so many women in so many countries. I could not imagine living in a society where women are still considered subserviant to men, where marriages are arranged, sometimes at alarmingly early ages, where women have no right to be educated, where they have no power and no protection in their own homes, where they are considered property as opposed to human beings with the same fundamental rights as men.

After reading A Thousand Splendid Suns and Snowflake and the Secret Fan I was struck by how easy it would be for our rights to slowly slip away if we are not vigilant. With a mostly male Congress laws could easily be enacted that would set women back decades or centuries. Could you imagine living in a country where you are not allowed out of the house without covering from head to toe, without being escorted by a male, where the police consider that what happens in a man's home, even beating and raping his wife/wives and daughters, is his business? Can you imagine being married off against your will at the tender age of fourteen or even younger? Can you imagine watching your daughters grow up in a world where they are not allowed an education, ensuring that they will be trapped in this cycle of subhuman, subserviant obedience? Can you imagine how it would feel for women living in this type of society, waiting, hoping, for someone, anyone, to save them from their own government?

Now that my own children are grown and I have more time to devote to a cause, I am looking for an organization that will allow me to help work for the rights of women around the world. I don't want to be passive about this, I want to make a difference. It has been simmering in me for years. I want to ensure that my granddaughter will be able to grow up and watch her own children live in a free society. So if you have suggestions for organizations that are proven to doing good, honest work to enhance women's lives around the globe I would like your input.

Trying to Go Green

I was able to get my flower pots filled with annuals and my husband planted a few shrubs this weekend. We still have a lot of work to do. As much as I sometimes enjoy having a large yard, almost an acre, I do long for a house with a small yard that wouldn't take up so much of our free time to maintain. After visiting my daughter in London and seeing the size of her long, narrow backyard garden I have decided that would be the perfect size lot for my husband and me. It would be large enough to have a grassy lawn for my grandchildren when they come to visit, a small patio for barbecues, enough room for a hot tub, and gardens along both sides. Two hours a week for each of us to maintain it and the rest of our time would be free to do as we please. In the meantime, I need some gardening tips and suggestions from those of you with green thumbs. My flower beds are looking rather wild and I am not even sure what all the plants are. I have been known to pull out what I thought were weeds only to find out after the fact that I had pulled up all the Black-eyed Susans. Sometimes I feel like plowing the whole bed up and starting over so I would know exactly what was in it and what shouldn't be there. Now that I have lost two trees in the side lot next to the highway I need to replace them with something, but I am struggling with the decision. Maybe I should have a garden party and invite all the green thumbed people I know so I can get their advice. Help!

Hooray for J

It's Saturday late morning and I have to get my rear in gear. Household chores await. So another 6 CD's to make the tasks more pleasant. Today is J day:

John Prine
Jewel
Janis Joplin (double whammy)
Janiva Magness
Johnny Lang
Jimi Hendrix

I hope to get a lot done, including potting the plants on the porches (does that sound like a tongue twister or is it just me?) I will have flowers even if I have to do it in the rain. Speaking of that.......never mind, that's another story!

Have a happy Saturday!

He Ain't Heavy....

As previously posted my father-in-law is now back in his own home. Both my husband and I will be making the drive to Indianapolis every week to help, hubby on Sunday evening through Monday evening, and me on Tuesday mornings through Wednesday evenings. I have rearranged my work schedule to allow this since all his sisters work Monday through Friday and can only help on the weekends or evenings. One sister-in-law has voiced concern that we will wear ourselves out doing this every week. I have tried to convince her that I will be fine because I can live on six hours of sleep per night and I really don't mind driving. (Thanks Mom for passing that trait down.) When I am in my car I have time to think, to listen to music, and to enjoy the scenery. With cell phone at hand I have time to call my family and friends and catch up on their lives. The ninety minute drive usually goes by fairly quickly. Once there, I really don't have much to do except assist with moving my father-in-law from bed to chair to sofa to table, assisting with meals, and sitting with him so my mother-in-law can take a break. So I have time to read and watch television or even catch up on some of my work if I take it with me. I am considering buying a laptop so I can write on my blog or work on my book in the evenings after my in-laws are in bed, since I am a night-owl and have trouble falling asleep without a television in the bedroom.

While there this past Tuesday I helped my father-in-law into the wheelchair and took him out for a walk around his neighborhood. They have lived in this retirement condo community for less than three years. It was a beautiful day. We stopped to say hello to a neighbor working in his garden and my father-in-law knew his name, even though he hadn't seen him for several months. As we walked past the mailboxes lined up all in a row he wanted to pull over so he could get the mail. I was surprised that he remembered which box was theirs. I was curious to see if he would remember his way around so I let him tell me which direction to turn. As we slowly looped around the pond an elderly woman passed us up. I stopped to direct my father-in-law's attention to the ducks milling around the pond but he admonished me to "hurry up and pass that lady". True to form he couldn't be outdone by a woman on foot! So we quickened the pace and sped past her. As we approached one corner we stopped to take in the wonderful scent of lilacs drifting softly through the air. He saluted the American flag flapping in the breeze. Then he directed me back to his home. He may not be aware of all around him but he has many moments that tell us he is still in there somewhere.

When I arrived back home late that evening my husband took me in his arms and said he couldn't thank me enough for helping out. But I cannot imagine any other way. I love my husband and I would do anything for him. That extends to helping him deal with this tremendous burden of caring for aging parents. We must do what needs to be done when it comes to family and friends when they need us most.

Tidy Tidbit

Playlist for the day while I clean house and do laundry:

Bob Dylan
James Taylor
Harry Manx
John Prine
Carol King
David Bromberg

6 CDs should be enough time to get it done, I hope.

Tough Love

My father-in-law is back in his home. And he is glad to be there. After his 80th birthday party last Saturday my mother-in-law took him home instead of back to the Alzheimer's facility he had been in for the past few months. He is so frail that he can no longer walk or stand on his own. He is so thin that you can see every bone in his body. Absolutely no muscle mass left. He has been withering away to nothing in that center. The family has a very tough job ahead of them in order to keep him at home. It is so important for all of us to understand the significance of what is going to be the toughest test of love for the person they call Dad and GrandDad. My mother-in-law is going to need help every single day to manage him at home. Hospice has been called in and medical equipment has been delivered to make maneuvering him easier. But the burden of his daily care will fall on the shoulders of family and friends. We are working on a schedule to spread that burden so no single family member is overwhelmed. I know from experience what lies ahead and it will take patience, courage, strength, and forgiveness to get through this without causing a breakdown in the family ties. Some may feel that they just can't do this emotionally but they will have to muster the strength and do it anyway. Some who live a greater distance away may not come to help as often but will have to help in other ways, organizing the family or calling in other resources. For my pregnant daughter who lives abroad with her two-year old it will be impossible to come home to help but phone calls, emails, video clips, and letters of support will be uplifting for my in-laws. Some have families with young children and busy schedules but children should be taught that they cannot always come first, that they may have to spend one summer of their young lives without playing a particular sport, that they have their whole lives ahead of them to pursue their interests while we have only this short window of time to repay all that has been bestowed upon us by this man of honor and integrity. It is time to dig in our heels and get to the toughest job we will ever encounter. When he is gone I can guarantee that everyone will look back on this experience and be glad that they were able to be a part of it, to shower him with the love and care that he deserves.

Undecided

Today is primary election day and I will be voting before I head off to work. I have been fairly undecided how I will cast my vote, at least for the presidential race. Ideally, my candidate of choice would be a moderate conservative or a conservative liberal.

I would prefer someone who will be tough on illegal immigration issues because we need to secure our borders in this dangerous world. We need to make changes in our immigration laws to allow more people in legally who want to come here to work and make a better life for their families. I do not think that illegals should be given a free pass because that flies in the face of citizens and legal immigrants who abide by the laws of our country.

On the issues of Iraq, I want a candidate who will not rush to bring our troops home and leave that country in worse chaos. Right or wrong, we started this mess and we need to follow through to assure that our servicemen and the Iraqi people have not suffered for naught.

I would like to see our nation's healthcare crisis addressed. I know first hand what is lacking in our system. I see patients every day who are given free healthcare, good healthcare, because they fall into the low income category necessary. The working poor and the middle class are the ones who suffer the most. Our senior citizens who have worked hard, sometimes with two jobs at once, to support their families and educate their children, are faced with having to spend down every dime and sell off all their assets before they are able to get assistance with the enormous cost of caring for their spouses with critical or chronic illness. This plummets them into poverty very quickly. It is the shame of our nation. We need to find a solution that is not income driven, at least when a catastrophic condition exists. More and more seniors will find themselves in this position as time goes on because families are smaller and spread out all over the nation.

I believe we should have as little government interference in our lives as possible. We should not have a Congress who believes that only they are capable of thinking for all. And they should all have to live by the laws that they enact. Maybe they, like in so many other professions, should be held legally liable for the laws they pass if they have a negative impact on the well-being of our nation.

I want a candidate who believes in the freedom of choice: in partners, in reproduction, in religion, in end of life decisions. The pursuit of happiness is not possible if government dictates what can and can't be done with these very personal issues.

I believe a candidate should work hard to unite the people of this nation, one who can motivate our citizens to get involved and work toward solutions that are reasonable, fair, and not a tremendous tax burden on the backs of the working people. Someone who will champion the rights of women, who will work to solve our racial inequities, and fight to keep our manufacturing jobs in this country.

With this said I am off to vote. I will be choosing a candidate that I believe is the lesser of all evils. That is a sad statement. That I would vote for the candidate that I think will do the least harm as opposed to the most good because that is all there is on the ballot is the reality of our times.

Peace!