Tough Love

My father-in-law is back in his home. And he is glad to be there. After his 80th birthday party last Saturday my mother-in-law took him home instead of back to the Alzheimer's facility he had been in for the past few months. He is so frail that he can no longer walk or stand on his own. He is so thin that you can see every bone in his body. Absolutely no muscle mass left. He has been withering away to nothing in that center. The family has a very tough job ahead of them in order to keep him at home. It is so important for all of us to understand the significance of what is going to be the toughest test of love for the person they call Dad and GrandDad. My mother-in-law is going to need help every single day to manage him at home. Hospice has been called in and medical equipment has been delivered to make maneuvering him easier. But the burden of his daily care will fall on the shoulders of family and friends. We are working on a schedule to spread that burden so no single family member is overwhelmed. I know from experience what lies ahead and it will take patience, courage, strength, and forgiveness to get through this without causing a breakdown in the family ties. Some may feel that they just can't do this emotionally but they will have to muster the strength and do it anyway. Some who live a greater distance away may not come to help as often but will have to help in other ways, organizing the family or calling in other resources. For my pregnant daughter who lives abroad with her two-year old it will be impossible to come home to help but phone calls, emails, video clips, and letters of support will be uplifting for my in-laws. Some have families with young children and busy schedules but children should be taught that they cannot always come first, that they may have to spend one summer of their young lives without playing a particular sport, that they have their whole lives ahead of them to pursue their interests while we have only this short window of time to repay all that has been bestowed upon us by this man of honor and integrity. It is time to dig in our heels and get to the toughest job we will ever encounter. When he is gone I can guarantee that everyone will look back on this experience and be glad that they were able to be a part of it, to shower him with the love and care that he deserves.