He Ain't Heavy....

As previously posted my father-in-law is now back in his own home. Both my husband and I will be making the drive to Indianapolis every week to help, hubby on Sunday evening through Monday evening, and me on Tuesday mornings through Wednesday evenings. I have rearranged my work schedule to allow this since all his sisters work Monday through Friday and can only help on the weekends or evenings. One sister-in-law has voiced concern that we will wear ourselves out doing this every week. I have tried to convince her that I will be fine because I can live on six hours of sleep per night and I really don't mind driving. (Thanks Mom for passing that trait down.) When I am in my car I have time to think, to listen to music, and to enjoy the scenery. With cell phone at hand I have time to call my family and friends and catch up on their lives. The ninety minute drive usually goes by fairly quickly. Once there, I really don't have much to do except assist with moving my father-in-law from bed to chair to sofa to table, assisting with meals, and sitting with him so my mother-in-law can take a break. So I have time to read and watch television or even catch up on some of my work if I take it with me. I am considering buying a laptop so I can write on my blog or work on my book in the evenings after my in-laws are in bed, since I am a night-owl and have trouble falling asleep without a television in the bedroom.

While there this past Tuesday I helped my father-in-law into the wheelchair and took him out for a walk around his neighborhood. They have lived in this retirement condo community for less than three years. It was a beautiful day. We stopped to say hello to a neighbor working in his garden and my father-in-law knew his name, even though he hadn't seen him for several months. As we walked past the mailboxes lined up all in a row he wanted to pull over so he could get the mail. I was surprised that he remembered which box was theirs. I was curious to see if he would remember his way around so I let him tell me which direction to turn. As we slowly looped around the pond an elderly woman passed us up. I stopped to direct my father-in-law's attention to the ducks milling around the pond but he admonished me to "hurry up and pass that lady". True to form he couldn't be outdone by a woman on foot! So we quickened the pace and sped past her. As we approached one corner we stopped to take in the wonderful scent of lilacs drifting softly through the air. He saluted the American flag flapping in the breeze. Then he directed me back to his home. He may not be aware of all around him but he has many moments that tell us he is still in there somewhere.

When I arrived back home late that evening my husband took me in his arms and said he couldn't thank me enough for helping out. But I cannot imagine any other way. I love my husband and I would do anything for him. That extends to helping him deal with this tremendous burden of caring for aging parents. We must do what needs to be done when it comes to family and friends when they need us most.