Tradition Transition - Part II

For many years our Christmas tradition remained pretty much the same. The magic of Santa faded but was replaced by our joy in being together as a family. We still congregated at my parents' and my grandmother's home to celebrate on Christmas Eve. We began going to Midnight Mass together so we could sleep in on Christmas morning. As we grew up and moved away to begin our adult lives the focus shifted naturally to our own young children as they lived out the same traditions. We enjoyed watching all the cousins gather for their special night of magic and fun in our parents' and grandmother's homes. The adults simply enjoyed being together and catching up with each other while eating our way through the traditional foods we had come to love and expect at the holiday season. It was a very crowded and very noisy affair but we loved it because we loved each other. Those who could spent the night at my parents' house, letting our children play together until they could no longer stay awake. We were glad for the chance to let them bond and make that connection that we hoped would keep them close throughout their lives, to have some of the same memories of youth.

When my oldest sister and her family moved back from Louisiana to Louisville, KY we altered our traditions. It had been getting harder and harder for everyone to juggle their schedules to gather on Christmas Eve. So she offered to have our large family gatherings the weekend before Christmas in her large home. There was plenty of room for the kids to play and a place to sleep, if we so chose, for everyone. We would begin arriving in the late afternoon for what evolved into a wonderful, if somewhat wacky, event. Everyone brought food and drink and a gift for the little ones. With tables laden with snacks and a well-stocked bar the party began as soon as each family arrived. There was room to mingle and catch up with each other and we all pitched in with the last-minute preparations. Once everyone was there we would proceed to the basement to open gifts. With sometimes as many as fifteen little ones and fifteen to twenty adults it was organized chaos. My mother kept it all moving with my grandmother's help. We were along for the wonderful ride. Just as in my youth, packages were passed out a few at a time so we could all see the gifts being opened. Little fingers tore into the paper to reveal the surprises inside. There were squeals of delight as each gift was held aloft in admiration. After the last gift was opened we would settle the kids with plates of food around the tables set up in the basement. When they finished eating they were free to play to their hearts' content. My sister's wonderful housekeeper would keep them all corralled in the basement while the adults retreated upstairs to the dining room for a fabulous sit-down dinner. That is when the real party began for us.
Our tradition had moved away from buying gifts for each adult because there were just too many of us. But that did not mean you got nothing. There was always a small gift for each of us from my grandmother, my parents, and a close family friend who always celebrated with us. We, in turn, had gifts for each of them. But we did not exchange gifts with each sibling and their spouses. For a while we exchanged a man and woman's gift from each family. Then I think it changed to just one universal gift for each couple. Eventually, a rather unusual tradition developed. It started out the year that my older brother became seriously ill with Crohn's disease and was hospitalized unexpectedly. He was in need of a bathrobe so my oldest sister brought in the one she had bought and hidden as a Christmas gift for her husband. When my brother-in-law stopped by the hospital to visit my brother and saw him in the robe he let it slip that he had a robe just like that. So my sister knew he had peeked at his gifts hidden in her closet. At our Christmas gathering my mother gave my brother-in-law a gag gift - a wrapped box with a toggle switch on the side to turn on the light attached inside and a peepsight like the ones found on hotel doors built into the top of the package. He could turn on the light and look inside the package without unwrapping it to sneak a peak at the gift inside. Of course, the gift was a bundle of switches. And so it began, our wild Christmas gag gift tradition. Whatever stupid thing you did throughout the year was liable to be used against you in the form of some crazy gift. Of course, once the gift was opened the receiver would have to tell the story behind it. We would roar with laughter at the clever gifts and the meanings behind them. It was all in good fun, never meant to be hurtful, and we were able to laugh at ourselves. No adult member of the family was exempt from this tradition. As the little ones grew up they began to look forward to the year they would be joining the adults upstairs for what seemed to them a glorious, raucous good time.

After dinner and gag gifts were over, everyone, including the kids, were free to mingle wherever they chose, playing poker, Scrabble, Pictionary, air hockey, pinball, watching movies, or just sitting and talking. We could sit up all night enjoying each other's company. Eventually the men and the kids would tire out in the wee hours of the morning. But the women would persevere. We would sit up all night laughing and chatting, playing Scrabble (or what we dubbed as Babble as we became slap-happy). For many years, the men would awake the next morning to find us still sitting around that Scrabble board. One look would set us off into fits of laughter. If a sibling was unable to make it home for the big event he/she could count on at least one phone call from all of us throughout the night. Somehow I doubt that he/she found those calls as humorous as we did. You know the saying, "You just had to be there!" But we didn't want anyone to be left out of the fun.

As our children grew into adults and began to consider marriage, the big test for the prospective spouse was to make it through family Christmas. If they stuck around after meeting all of us and being subjected to our crazy antics we determined them to be keepers. And for the most part, this has held true. Families that can laugh together and not take themselves too seriously tend to stay together and help each other through all the tough times that are inevitable. Knowing that no matter the distance, the struggles, or the angry words that naturally occur in every family, we never hold a grudge and always welcome with open arms every single member of our family. And that is the spirit of our Christmas.